Furious 8 Needs a Director

By Justin Annazone on October 2, 2015

Photo from vindiesel.com

 Nothing gets a college student more excited than fast cars, the general concept of being furious and the shininess of Vin Diesel’s freshly shaved head.  You’ll understand why I was dismayed to hear last week that the production of Furious 8 was having some troubles with no director currently signed.  Vin Diesel, one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, took to the internet to calm the nerves of Furious Fans.  On the subject of picking a new director, Diesel had to say, “this is too special a franchise, so these matters have to be very carefully handled.”  Why does Vin Diesel get final say over who directs these films?  Who knows, but Vin wasn’t content simply assuring fans the process of choosing a director was being taken serious; he also let slip that he promised one last trilogy.

Three more Furious films are three reason to rejoice and in celebration I’d like to offer some help.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned from seeing the first 45 minutes of Furious 6 and that scene from Fast 5 where they rob a tractor-trailer it’s that this series is important.  Nothing proves that more than the fact that it will take three more films to wrap up the saga of Dominic Toretto.  Now, I present to you (and hopefully the Sour Dies himself) a story treatment and a list of possible directors to helm the most important trilogy of films since The Godfather and the original Star Wars films combined.

The Story (Minor spoilers ahead just so you know)

At the end of Furious 7, Dom and Brian go their separate ways and Letty gets her memory back.  Plus they got that sweet amnesty to start the film and finally got to return to America.  Pretty heartfelt and I guess fairly happy… not for long though.

Photo from vindiesel.com

Furious 8 opens with Dom Toretto standing at the edge of a freshly plowed field.  The text reveals we are in Wyoming.  Dom wipes sweat from his face and heads back to the house for dinner, only his family isn’t there.  He enters the living room to see the President of the United States.  The President reveals that no one had authority to give Dom amnesty and so his family was taken to prison and he’s next.  The President orders his secret servicemen to take him down, but the secret servicemen are actually Ludacris and The Rock.  They knock the President unconscious and The Rock, Ludacris, and Dom escape on motorcycles. This leads to a 45-minute chase scene.  The trio ends up in a diner where they agree that they have to break Dom’s family out of jail because family is important.  The Secret Service catches up to them and they go willingly.  The trio then breaks out of custody and steals intel about Dom’s family from the Secret Service.  The Rock has a really cool fight scene and Ludacris does the hacking while whispering one-liners to himself.  Meanwhile Dom steals the President’s personal Tesla.  He picks The Rock and Ludacris up and credits.

Furious 9 is the prison break.  This is the first time we see Letty and Dom’s teenage son played by Justin Long.  We also meet a new teammate played by Jennifer Lawrence (she’s Justin Long’s love interest).  J-Law tells the team that Jason Statham’s character is planning on assassinating the President.  The film ends with the team heading for Washington, D.C.

Furious 10 follows the team going to save the President.  In the siege of the White House, the Vice President gets killed by Jason Statham, but then Dom hits Jason Statham with a car, pinning him against the White House and killing him.  To say thank you, the President gives the team amnesty for real this time and names Dom his new VP.  The epilogue reveals that Dom eventually ran for president and served two terms.  Justin Long married J-Law, The Rock became the Secretary of Defense and Ludacris returned to his family in Mexico to lead a quiet life.

Possible Directors

Christopher Nolan

Nolan knows a thing or two about directing major trilogies.  Nolan can bring a new grounded, gritty tone to the Furious films.  If there is one complaint about these movies it’s that they don’t seem real.  Nolan will change that and he’ll probably have a really awesome supporting role for Michael Caine.

Vin Diesel

Photo from vindiesel.com

When news broke the new film was without a director, some speculated Diesel himself might fill the spot. If there is one person who cares about these movies and takes them seriously, it’s Vin Diesel.  Seriously, just reread that quote from him in the intro.  He acts like these films actually mean something.  Diesel has also directed before so he is definitely capable.

Judd Apatow

Apatow has never made an action film, but he has made Knocked Up.  He might be pretty good at this.

Myself

Speaking of interesting storylines, what is more interesting than someone who has never directed in his life taking on one of the biggest franchises to ever exist?  I already outlined a pretty solid trilogy so who better to bring the words to life than their writer.  I’m also willing to do it for free.  I just ask for a place to sleep and food.  You’re not gonna find a better deal than this when it comes to directors, let alone a double threat writer-director like myself.

Long shot: The Ghost of Stanley Kubrick

Kubrick’s been out of the game for far too long and his comeback needs to be big.  You can’t get much bigger than this.  Kubrick will bring some real craftsmanship to the franchise in a way that no one else can.  It’s also worth noting that Kubrick is one of the truest auteurs the world of cinema has ever seen so he will really put his stamp on these films.  If this really is the final trilogy, it should stand out from the rest and nothing could make these last three movies more unique than the spectre of one of history’s true masters of film.

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